I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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