wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
