well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
