Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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