i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
