i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
