You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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