Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
