he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He has the fingertips of a God
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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