meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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