my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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