so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
