Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
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