I need help removing her.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
