I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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