We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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