That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
