I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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