Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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