we're blogging at a bar
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
