508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
