and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
