Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize