Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
