My room smells like vodka and shame
I just cut my nipple shaving
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
