She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
