And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You may now shotgun with the bride
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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