I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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