Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
