one two three fourrrrnication!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
