i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
