Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
