Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
