is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
