Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am full of burrito and curiosity
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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