trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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