i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is Oprah even human
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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