Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
