I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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