Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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