Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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