Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
