But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
