Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
