shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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