Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
