i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
