i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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