Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
