Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
