you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
